Joyful Moment #2

Today’s joyful moment came early in the morning.  While working with my youngest on long division (which always made me cry at her age), she looked at me and said, “Thanks, mom.  I’m glad you’re my teacher.”

Family means so much to me.  My family means the world to me, but consider what the word “family” means–this should be important to everyone.  I’m not interested in how Webster defines the word.  I’m going to tell you the definition according to Carol.

Family (n) A group of blood-related people who love, honor, support, and respect each other.  A place where no one is belittled and everyone is trusted.  May also extend to non-blood-related persons who form a closely-knit group embodying the characteristics listed above.

Thankfully–blessedly–I have a family that fits the definition above.  My parents, sister, husband, brothers-in-law, niece, nephews, and children all embody the description.  This brings me true joy.  I recognize that not every family can say the same, and my heart breaks for them.

Yesterday, a friend called to share some good news.  I rejoiced with her.  With a heavy heart, though, she expressed in one breath that she was thankful she could share the news with me but sorrowful as she cannot do so with her own family.  I can only pray that God will work in the hearts of her family that they may all one day have the same joyful unity I have in mine.

As a child, I sat on the couch at home struggling with math homework.  Long division, fractions, pre-algebra, algebra, geometry were beyond me.  My father–the man with the master’s degree in engineering, the man who served as chief engineer on the design of the USAF AWACS plane, the man who clearly understood everything about math–sat along side of me. Patiently, he helped me learn.  Only once do I recall him lowering his head, sighing, and asking, “Why don’t you get this?”  Yet he pressed on toward the goal, helping me “get it” enough to pass each test.

If I never said so before…thanks, Dad.  You & mom have supported me through far more than numeric equations.  For all of those moments on the couch when you patiently worked through problem after problem, you have both been a Godly example of how family works together, loves one another.

All of those lessons and tears shed were not in vain.  The word family will always fill my heart to overflowing.

 

Joyful Moment #1

I mentioned in a previous post about re-gaining lost joy.  I’m wondering now if that’s really what I meant.  You see, joy and happiness are two very different things.  I know I’ve been unhappy with circumstances over the past few months, but I have not necessarily lost my joy.

Joy is deeper than happiness.

So, with that in mind, I can recognize one epiphany of joy today:  Those who pass away, whether figuratively or literally, I will see again someday.  And when we stand together in heaven, the offenses of this life–whether real or imagined–will fade in the light of eternity.

Re-finding the Joy

It’s been far too long since my last blog.  Why have I been absent?  A few reasons.  Truth be told, I had a sort of family reunion at the National Museum of the Air Force in Dayton, OH, as well as some writing deadlines.  I have my priorities straight–family first, then my job, and somewhere down the list is where my blog falls.  Upon returning home from the reunion, a quick walk through my garden yielded more work which was of greater importance than writing.  Peas, beans, broccoli, tomatoes, and peppers needed me.  A couple of white pumpkins and a basketful of gourds now decorate my front stoop, and four large boxes of apples patiently wait for my undivided attention.  Some are simmering in the crock pot as I write this, permeating the air with the tart, spicy scent of apple butter.

I also had some painful personal issues going on, which made writing this blog almost impossible.  After all, my tagline is “Finding the Joy in Everything.”  Frankly, there hasn’t been much joy lately.  There’s been no dearth of misunderstandings, rumors, and, worst of all, the death of a friendship.  None of these things has been resolved, and the lack of closure bugs me.  But, as Mr. Bennet said in Pride and Prejudice,  “I’ll get over it.  More likely sooner than I should.”

So the question remains: How do I regain my joy?  Is it really my joy?  Nehemiah 8:10 tells me that the joy of the Lord is my strength.  Well, I have been feeling rather weak for a month or so.  Is that because I haven’t been relying on the Lord’s strength to get me through this period of mourning?

There may be weeping for a night, but joy comes in the morning (Psalm 30:5).  When a friend dies, I weep.  I mourn.  Thinking of good times brings bittersweet tears.  I want them back, but know the impossibility.  For some, I can look forward to seeing them again in eternity, and this eases the pain.  Similarly, when a friendship dies, I go through a period of mourning. However, the wound is torn open every time the friend sees me coming and turns the other way.  It’s a different death, a death that repeats itself over and over, but a death all the same.

Thankfully, there have been very few periods of mourning in my life.  Whether for physical loss or the end of a relationship, I have been blessed to come through each with a renewed sense of life, a new understanding of the One whom I call God, and a joy that knows no bounds.

What?  Joy out of death?

Yes.  I’m reminded of a time when I lived in Acton, Massachusettes.  Our house was nestled up against an old growth woods.  The woods were my favorite roaming grounds.  In those woods I had a small treehouse, played in a rushing brook, and often met friends for games of hide-and-seek and adventure.  On one of many advetures through the understory, we came across a goldfinch, dead.  My friends and I looked it over, poked it with a stick, then decided to give it a proper burial and funeral.

The hole we scratched out was scarcely deeper than the bird, but we set up a small headstone and said a prayer.  Over the next few months I returned to that spot each time I was in the woods.  The stone remained, the small mound of dirt slowly flattened.

Snow came.  Then spring.

Late in May I noticed something sticking out of the little grave: tiny green shoots.  Subsequent visits allowed me to watch as small ferns unfolded in the very spot where the little finch rested.

In my naive, eight-year-old mind, I decided that dead birds turned into ferns.  Now in my fortysomething mind, I have come to the understanding that death happens and life goes on.  If I don’t keep moving forward, I’ll be the one feeding the ferns.  Joy comes when I focus on what I have, not on what I lost.  Joy comes from gaining new understanding after each trial.

While physical death is a discernable moment in time, the end of a relationship is harder to pinpoint.  It’s a slow fade.  The foundation of a friendship can be eroded by jealousy, insecurity, paranoia, and rumor, among other things.  And often, only one person is swallowed by these vices.  The other simply has no clue.  The building crumbles when the foundation no longer supports.

So, I can look back on a friendship of twenty-some years and see good things in those woods–times when we joked around as teenagers, eagerly talked about boyfriends and wedding plans, visited each other’s homes, did the tourist things around NYC, prayed for each other.  I’m not sure exactly when it died.  Like a quietly-moving cancer, death came in a surprise attack, but in retrospect, not unexpectedly.  The signs were there for many months, I just didn’t pay attention. Now I  scratch out a resting place for it, set up a little stone, and move on.  I’m trusting that good will come from pain, as it always has for me in the past.  I focus on what brings me joy:  I am living completely within God’s will;  I have a husband, parents, and children who love me and each other;  and I have a sister and a best friend who will never let me down.

I move on.  I keep moving forward.  To retreat would bring my own plodding death.

So where do I go from here?  Will my joyful blogging journey continue?

Taking a cue from a college classmate, David Wheeler (who has his own awesome blog at ldwheeler.livejournal.com), I will embark upon a new blogging adventure:  100 Moments of Joy.  After all, I’m all about finding the joy in everything.  Hopefully, I can carve out time to do four or five per week.  I’d love for you to join me in this adventure and share some of your own joyful moments in the comments below.

And the winner is…

Congratulations to Joy from North East, PA!  She is the winner of The Household Menu and Coupon Organizer.  She’ll have her copy before the release date of September 1.  After that date, keep an eye out for it in stores.  The book is so nice because it has pocket pages which hold coupons and recipes, articles on health and nutrition, and space to plan menus and weekly grocery lists (I’ll be doing these last two in pencil so I can use the book over and over).

Thanks so much to everyone who entered the drawing by leaving comments on my blog.  I appreciate your feedback and look forward to hearing from you all again in the future.  As for the next seven days, I am working like a bee to complete another project deadline.  As soon as I have a title, I’ll let everyone know.  I’ve been told the book will be released before Christmas and will be exclusive to Walmart stores.

Again, thanks for making my blogging experience fun by leaving comments.  Joy, I hope you enjoy your free book!

 

What to do with all of that zucchini…

In checking my garden the other day, I came across some rather large zucchini attempting to hide under the leaves of their plant.  They had been taking hints from the cucumbers which were camouflaging themselves quite well.  Before they could plan a garden coup I picked them all.

I’ve had my fill of sauteed onions/peppers/zucchini and I’m not really into zucchini bread. I let my fingers do the walking through my recipe file for something tasty–possibly something my kids would eat–which would allow me to use up some of the little green monsters.  To my delight, I came across the following recipe, and altered it a bit.

Chocolate Zucchini Cake

• 1/2 cup butter, softened
• 1-1/2 cups sugar
• 1/4 cup brown sugar
• 1/2 cup vegetable oil
• 2 eggs
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 1-1/2 cup milk
• 2-1/2 cups flour
• 1/4 cup baking cocoa
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 2 cups shredded zucchini
• 1/2 cup semisweet chocolate chips
• Confectioners’ sugar

Directions

• In a large bowl, beat the butter, sugars and oil until smooth. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Beat in vanilla.
• In another bowl, combine the flour, cocoa, baking soda, baking powder and salt; add to batter alternately with milk, beating well after each addition. Stir in zucchini.
• Pour into a greased 13-in. x 9-in. baking pan. Sprinkle with chocolate chips. Bake at 325° for 45-50 minutes or until a toothpick inserted near the center comes out clean. Cool. Dust with confectioners’ sugar. 

I plan to try this recipe on my kids this weekend.  Sshhhhhh….don’t tell them.    And, by the way, don’t forget to comment and be in the running for a free book!  Only two more days to get in on the contest–comment before midnight of August 20, 2011.

Spend Less, Save More

In keeping with the theme of the book, The Household Menu and Coupon Organizer, I want to share a few money-saving tips that I have learned over the past twenty years as a homemaker, mom of three, and occasional working mom (although anyone with children and a house to run knows that the term “working mom” is redundant).

Today, let’s focus on cutting your food expenses.  Some of these may be obvious and others might provide that “Ah-ha!” moment which will spur you on to greater savings than you ever believed possible.  Each idea comes from my own personal experience; I have put each into practice–some more often than others–so I know they work.  I’ve done Top Ten lists before, so here we go again:

 

Top Ten Ways to Trim Your Food Bill

 

10.  Combine sales with coupons.

When I was first married, I did this religiously.  Every Sunday we’d purchase a newspaper which had the local circulars as well as the manufacturer’s coupons.  My goal was to save more than I spent.  I would make my shopping list based upon sales, see if any coupons could be combined with the sales, and stock up.  Some stores offered double and triple coupons, providing even greater savings.  I don’t do this as much as I used to, mainly because I can get name-brand non-perishables at the kind of store mentioned in #6, below.

9. Buy store brands.

Quite often store brands are less expensive than name-brands; most of the time, there isn’t much of a difference in quality.  In one of the Tightwad Gazette books by Amy Dacyczyn, the author mentions a friend of hers who worked at a big-name vegetable canning corporation.  He said that when the quota of the name-brand was filled, they would switch label machines and–get this–the same canned vegetables were then labeled with a grocery store brand label.  Same food, different label, for 25% less.

 8.  Don’t eat out.

It really goes without saying that eating out will cost you anywhere from five to ten times more than it would cost to feed yourself and/or your family at home.  Also, when you head out to work, pack your own lunch.  We recently went to an amusement park and took in our own lunches and drinks.  Standing outside one of the snack bars, I calculated how much we would have spent on an identical lunch had we purchased it in the park.  Our home-made subs and soda pop would have cost us over $42 in the park.  Instead, our home-made versions worked out to less than $2 per person, for a total of less than $10. Had we filled reusable bottles with water instead of buying a six-pack of Mountain Dew, the savings would have been even greater.

 7.  Shop right after you’ve had a big meal.

Unless you plan to purchase way too many cookies, snack foods, and instant meals, make sure you are full before going to the market.  You’ll be far less likely to be swayed by the impulse buys on the endcaps (the racks at the end of each aisle) and at the checkout.  The big bag of cookies or chips isn’t as appetizing when you aren’t hungry.

 6.  Shop at Bent-n-Dent or Salvage stores.

You may know of these and you may not.  In my town alone there are two, and they offer significant savings to consumers.  These stores specialize in selling items which aren’t “pretty” enough for retail chains.  Cans with dents.  Boxes with a crushed corner.  Coffee that’s just past its expiration date.  According to the USDA, canned goods are good for up to two years past the date on the can, and as long as the can is not leaking or bulging, dents do not compromise the integrity of the food inside.  No one in my family has ever gotten sick from bent-n-dent food.  If this still makes you squeamish, then check out the other items they often carry, such as packages of pens which have a tear in the plastic bag, or doggie chewtoys which just didn’t sell.

 5.  Freeze or can your own produce.

The Farmers’ Markets can offer great deals on large quantities of fruits and vegetables.  Take the time to check out the best methods of freezing and canning (online or in cookbooks) and DIY!  You’ll be rewarded with food far tastier than anything you can purchase already canned or frozen, and without all of the salt, chemicals, and preservatives!  Just yesterday my girls and I picked blueberries at a local U-pick farm. Today we canned blueberry jam and made blueberry pies.  We did the same just two months ago with strawberries and rhubarb, and look forward to apple season.

 4.  Stock up on non-perishables.

When there is a sale on your favorite pasta, sauce, paper towel, or whatever, buy enough to last you a few months.

 3.  Drink water.

And I don’t mean bottled water!  Unless your tap water is polluted or over-chlorinated, you should be drinking tap water.  Soda pop and fruit drinks are expensive not only to your wallet but also to your liver.  They’re loaded with High Fructose Corn Syrup which throws your blood glucose levels into chaos and forces your liver to clean it out.  Water is free and it detoxifies.

 2.  Grow it yourself.

Have a little bit of land?  Till it up and plant a garden.  No land?  Use containers such as pots, buckets, and even windowboxes.

1.  Make it yourself, from scratch.

Whether you follow Betty Crocker’s step-by-step instructions for a cake or buy her cake mix, you’re saving a whole lot of dough (sorry).  The bakery will charge 900% more than the cake mix, and around 1500% more than if you just follow the recipe.  Likewise, building your own pizza saves you on both the cost of the chain-made and delivery.

 

 

Don’t forget to leave a comment and be in the running for a free copy of the book, The Household Menu and Coupon Organizer, on or before August 20, 2011.  Some of the tips mentioned here are covered more in-depth in the book.

In this economy, something should be free.

About twenty years ago my sister introduced me to the world of “tightwaddery.”  Little did she know how her Christmas gift of The Tightwad Gazette by Amy Dacyczyn would change almost everything about my life.  As a young newlywed, I struggled along with my husband in a minimum wage job, scrimping and saving, trying to stretch dollars long and wide enough to cover our monthly expenses.

The Frugal Zealot, as the author referred to herself, taught me a few new tricks, but really just reinforced the common sense that had been instilled by my parents and my Mennonite Home Economics teachers in school.  Having moved from small-town Pennsylvania to expensive suburbial Connecticut, I was glad for the reminder that I didn’t have to be like everyone else–especially when everyone else was living beyond their means to uphold an image.  This dichotomy of thought was even more pronounced when we moved to an upscale country-clubbing waterfront on Long Island.  We couldn’t have afforded the cost of living there; we were privileged to live and work on the campus of an international boarding school.

During those ten years on the island, I purchased the Tightwad Gazette II and III.  We were teachers and dorm parents, and Bruce was the Athletic Director.  We saved quite a bit and were able to send our kids to private schools, buy nice preowned vehicles, and support missionaries.  We continued the frugal lifestyle while immersed in a world of designer teenagers whose parents purchased each other a new Lexus for Christmas.  We never had money to burn, but we were certainly comfortable.  Yet even with a cushion of sorts, we still worked at spending as little as possible.  I would go shopping for groceries and gleefully show my husband the receipt which declared, “Your Savings Today : $62.84.”  I made home-made bread and prepared meals from scratch.  I made every effort to shop sales, use coupons, and stock up on dry and canned goods.  Most of our clothing came from the sale rack at the back of the store.

When the rug was pulled out from under us (and 22 other faculty members) by a new administration, what was an already traumatic situation would have been exacerbated had we been living beyond our means during our ten years there.  When the paychecks stopped, we tightened our belts, used common sense, and forged ahead, still trying to spend as little as possible.

Do you understand where I’m coming from?

In the present economy, I can count on one hand how many people I know who have not gone through a layoff or job change in the last three years.  People are hurting.  Many due to lack of common sense as they allowed themselves to become overburdened with loans and maxed out credit cards, thinking they could never possibly lose their paycheck.  So, what am I going to do to ease this situation?

I’m going to give away a book.

The Household Menu and Coupon Organizer is the perfect book to aid you as you try to feed yourself and your family on a tight budget.  The cover proclaims the book will take the stress out of grocery shopping, help you create weekly shopping lists and meal plans, organize your coupons (right in the book!), and…drumroll, please….get the most out of your budget!

This book, published by Baker (a division of Revell) is set to be in stores the first week of September.  You can pre-order on Amazon.com or you can win your very own copy right here.

How?

All you have to do is: 

1) leave a comment on any of my blogs, and 

2) click the box next to “Notify me of new posts via email.”  

Do this before midnight on Saturday, August 20, and your name will be entered into the drawing for the book.  Only comments left between August 10 and 20 will be eligible for the drawing.

I must say the book is very nice.  Of the twelve articles (one for each month) three were written by me (their titles are “Understanding Healthy Eating,” “Gardening Tips,” and “Navigating Farmers’ Markets”).  The book boasts eight very talented writers, all of whom have biographies and websites or blog sites listed on pages 104 and 105.  Each author is given credit for their article.  This book will make an excellent gift–Christmas is less than five months away…

So get to it!  Leave a comment.  You can’t win if you don’t play!